trudging forward

Well...we knew this ride was going to be a roller coaster and that is exactly what it feels like. Today wasn't such a great day. We received the call from our research nurse and Braden didn't get randomized to receive Yervoy. It felt like a big punch in the gut. Yep...I was ticked. I had that poor me moment of feeling angry, frustrated, sad and wondering why. If this is the "better" drug then why can't we have it? It just doesn't seem fair. But Braden came home from work tonight and reminded me that although it is discouraging, we have to trust that God knows what he is doing. We discussed this with him many many times and we told him to give us what he knew was best for Braden. So God really showed us who is boss today. So tomorrow is a new day and plan B will be discussed on Thursday with Dr. Reddy. Hopefully next week will be go time with treatment. Did I mention that Braden (my husband with melanoma) came home and gave me a pep talk?!? Yep...he is pretty amazing:)

I just want to say thank you again to everyone who is praying for Braden. I feel like a broken record but we feel blessed beyond measure by all of the people who have reached out in even the smallest ways. You guys are awesome! We are really learning a lot about our faith, each other, and this crazy terrible disease and you all are helping us get through it every day. Did any of my fellow Jesus Calling readers read today's devotion?

"I am leading you step by step, through your life. Hold My hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through this day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy- even precarious. That is how it should be. Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things. When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping at things that are Mine. This, like all forms of worry, is an act of rebellion; doubting My promises to care for you." 

On a side note...I need to throw something out there that has been on my heart. I was once (very recently even) a sun-lover, but PLEASE...if you have never seen a dermatologist, go get checked. I would gladly recommend someone who we love if you don't know where to go. I know many of you are sitting there thinking it won't be you, and I pray it won't be, but please don't take chances. Melanoma doesn't discrimminate. It isn't just "skin cancer." It is a scary wicked disease and it kills people every day. Lastly, for goodness sakes wear sunscreen!!!  And do people still really lay in tanning beds?!? Ok...I am done for now...but this won't be the last you hear from me!

 

 



SNOW!

It's hard to believe it has been four weeks since we received that first call from our surgeon's office saying the melanoma had been found in Braden's lymph nodes. In some ways time has gone very fast, and in other ways it has gone very slow. Our life has felt like nothing but appointments, surgeries, lab, scans, etc..., but honestly everything is falling into place and it is amazing that four weeks ago we were weeping on our couch, and today we feel so much peace about everything going on around us. In four weeks we have had a PET scan, a second surgery to remove more lymph nodes, a brain MRI, and multiple appointments. Waiting on results has become a normal part of life for us, but everything has checked out perfect and right now we believe that Braden's body is cancer free!!

We are still waiting on news from the clinical trial. We spoke with our research nurse on the phone today and we are hoping to know early next week on the treatment plan for Braden. We met with Dr. Reddy on Wednesday and although we are all hoping for Yervoy, he feels confident that the alternative treatment will also be effective in preventing any recurrence of melanoma in Braden's body. So again we wait...but that's ok! It just gives us more time to pray!

Braden is feeling great!  His left side is still feeling a little sore and he still has the pesky drain under his arm, but it didn't stop us from having some fun in the snow today!!

My girl

 

Bear is loving this snow!

 

The golf cart getting some wintertime use!

 

 

 

Aunt Ashley came to play!

 

Our wonderful babysitters, friends, and neighbors Hannah and Hayley!

 

 

I'm pretty sure Braden's surgeon wouldn't approve of this!

PTL!!

We celebrate the big things and the small things and today was definitely a big thing! Braden's lymph nodes that were removed on Tuesday came back clean! We are feeling so confident going into our appointment next week with Dr. Reddy, our oncologist. Prayers answered!!

Today I had a long talk on the phone with my mom who always says the right things. Braden and I have these moments of pure joy...like today. Today was great and for awhile we felt like the weight of the world was lifted! But then these moments of pure panic, fear, anxiety and doubt about our future come flooding back. Melanoma is scary. It's aggressive and unpredictable. It is easy to give way to fear. But we pray continually and God is continually reminding us that when we give him our fear he takes it from us and gives us peace. God's grace is sufficient as several people have been reminding me. In our weakness God shows us that he is in control of all situations.

We have a very specific prayer request going into our appointment next week to discuss treatment plans. We are praying that Braden gets on the clinical trial I have mentioned with a newer drug called Yervoy. We are asking that you will lift this up in prayer for us. Thank you!!

 

 

Ephesians 3:20-21 "Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen."

another day down

Today was Braden's second surgery to remove more lymph nodes. Another big day complete. He did great and tolerated it so much better this time without all the bad side effects. He actually had a little too much fun waking up from the anesthesia. The nurses had a good laugh. His arm is going to be really sore for awhile and he has a drain he gets to carry with him for awhile, but overall he is doing really well. We will hopefully have pathology results back from this set of lymph nodes soon and we will meet with our oncologist again next week to discuss final treatment plans. In the meantime Braden is determined to gain back the 10lbs he has lost over the last month before he starts treatments so we are going to be working on that.

I got to spend the day with my sister, Jessica, who drove down from Kansas City to be with me while Braden was in surgery. That was a great treat...love you Jess! And also thanks to our wonderful friend (and Braden's coworker) Scot who showed up to give us some laughs and moral support. Thank you so much to our dear friend Alicia for the delicious dinner tonight and also to my great friend and co-worker Micah for taking care of our sick little Brynn who came down with a stomach bug while were at the surgery center.(And a shout out to my little sis Ashley who saved the day by picking up sick Brynn...you are the best!) I am staying tucked in for a couple days with my sickies. Love them so much.

Thank you all for the continued prayers. We feel so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful friends and family who drop everything to be there when we need them. Our future looks a little brighter every day as we continue to put our trust in God.

"Come to me with all your needs, knowing that my glorious riches are a more-than-adequate supply. Stay in continual communication with Me, so that you can live above your circumstances even while you are in the midst of them." -Jesus Calling

Let's do this!

Thank you Jessica for being there today! Love you!!

Dr. Scoty P.

 

Surprise visitor!

something to smile about

We received a call from our wonderful oncologist today and the PET scan was clean!! One hurdle down. That is a huge sigh of relief and worry gone. Dr. Reddy also discussed Braden's surgery next week and decided to wait on placing a port a cath in his chest for now in hopes that he won't need one and will do ok with just inserting iv's in his arm for his treatments. Surgery is Tuesday Feb. 12th and they will be removing more lymph nodes under Braden's left arm at that time. 

Thank you again for the continued prayers. I know you are all lifting Braden up and will be next Tuesday as he goes in for hopefully his last surgery through all of this. We have been discussing treatment options with Dr. Reddy and we feel like the best treatment for Braden is on a clinical trial with a new drug being used for patients with stage 3 and 4 melanoma. But, unfortunatly there is a catch. Braden might not be selected to receive that drug. This is not just out of our hands, but also Dr. Reddy's hands, as it is completely random. We know God does have a say in this and we pray that Braden will receive the drug that will work best for him!! We are trusting that. Our weekend is off to a great start! Hope yours is too!

and then, everything changed

This is my first blog post. Ever. I am really not sure about this, but I hope this allows our family and friends a chance to be part of our journey. I will assure you I am not a good writer and my computer skills are lacking, but I will do my best. I want to tell you about all of the latest events, but first I want to fill you in on our little life.

Braden and I celebrated our 5 year wedding annivesary in October 2012 with an anniversary trip back to Riviera Maya, Mexico. It is hard to believe five years have already flown by. I am still working as a registered nurse at the Via Christi Cancer Institute and although my job can be rather hectic, I do love taking care of cancer patients. Braden is an account executive with Journal Broadcast Group and although he never imagined himself in that position but rather building homes and selling real estate, he has found that he truly enjoys it and I think he is pretty darn good at it! He plans to stay put. The biggest change in our lives happened in 2010 when we welcomed Brynn Ellen into our world. She just turned three years old and we feel so blessed that God chose us to be her mommy and daddy. We thank God for our happy and healthy little girl!

Our lives have certainly taken quite a turn in the past couple of weeks. Some of you know our story and some don't so I will share it again here. Braden noticed a mole on his back before Christmas that he had never noticed before. We knew something was different about this mole and thankfully headed straight to the dermatologist who told us they were sure it was melanoma in the very early stages. Well...yes it was melanoma, but unfortunatly not in the earliest stages as we had hoped. Because it was larger than they thought, they decided to check Braden's lymph nodes in the rare case that it could have spread. (6% chance to be exact.) On January 22nd Braden had five lymph nodes removed from his left underarm and on January 25th we received the call that changed everything. The melanoma had indeed been found in one node. There are really no words to describe the feeling. Complete shock. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions. Walking into the cancer center for the first time was tough as we started to process what the next few years of our lives will be like.

So here we are. Ready to face the road ahead. Today was the dreaded PET scan to make sure that it has not spread anywhere else in his body. Next up is surgery next week to remove more lymph nodes under Braden's left arm and insert a port-a-cath in his chest so he can receive his treatments. Given that the PET scan and remaining lymph nodes are negative, we are very hopeful that Braden's prognosis is good because we have caught it early. We feel blessed in so many ways and will continue to thank God for allowing the mole to be discovered and our wonderful Dr.'s who were insistent on checking Braden's lymph nodes. Although plenty of tears have been shed we truly feel God's comfort and peace. We have quickly learned that his ways are not our ways, but even in the most difficult moments he always shows us he is there. Braden is my inspiration. He is a true testament to faith in God. He is ready to take on this battle...and win! Thank you all for the continued prayers!!