trudging forward

Well...we knew this ride was going to be a roller coaster and that is exactly what it feels like. Today wasn't such a great day. We received the call from our research nurse and Braden didn't get randomized to receive Yervoy. It felt like a big punch in the gut. Yep...I was ticked. I had that poor me moment of feeling angry, frustrated, sad and wondering why. If this is the "better" drug then why can't we have it? It just doesn't seem fair. But Braden came home from work tonight and reminded me that although it is discouraging, we have to trust that God knows what he is doing. We discussed this with him many many times and we told him to give us what he knew was best for Braden. So God really showed us who is boss today. So tomorrow is a new day and plan B will be discussed on Thursday with Dr. Reddy. Hopefully next week will be go time with treatment. Did I mention that Braden (my husband with melanoma) came home and gave me a pep talk?!? Yep...he is pretty amazing:)

I just want to say thank you again to everyone who is praying for Braden. I feel like a broken record but we feel blessed beyond measure by all of the people who have reached out in even the smallest ways. You guys are awesome! We are really learning a lot about our faith, each other, and this crazy terrible disease and you all are helping us get through it every day. Did any of my fellow Jesus Calling readers read today's devotion?

"I am leading you step by step, through your life. Hold My hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through this day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy- even precarious. That is how it should be. Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things. When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping at things that are Mine. This, like all forms of worry, is an act of rebellion; doubting My promises to care for you." 

On a side note...I need to throw something out there that has been on my heart. I was once (very recently even) a sun-lover, but PLEASE...if you have never seen a dermatologist, go get checked. I would gladly recommend someone who we love if you don't know where to go. I know many of you are sitting there thinking it won't be you, and I pray it won't be, but please don't take chances. Melanoma doesn't discrimminate. It isn't just "skin cancer." It is a scary wicked disease and it kills people every day. Lastly, for goodness sakes wear sunscreen!!!  And do people still really lay in tanning beds?!? Ok...I am done for now...but this won't be the last you hear from me!