Wednesday, March 27, 2013

week three...we won't miss you

Over half way done with high dose treatment. Week one came and went with some yucky side effects. Week two went about as good as we could have hoped. Besides Braden's liver enzymes going haywire which required a dose reduction and his white count that continues to remain low he had only a few yucky symptoms last week. Week three has been a different story and we won't be sad to see this week go. The appetitie is gone, the fatigue is here in full force and he has been battling the body aches and chills on a daily basis. Braden handles it all like a champ. We are praying the symptoms will ease up or better yet for no symptoms at all as we finish up this phase of treatment. Also praying for Braden to stay healthy and strong as his immune system is weak.

Thankfully, Braden has been able to keep up with work from home as best as he can. He has had some help from great coworkers. We are so blessed and thankful for all of the awesome meals we have received and for all of the little play-dates Brynn has had while we are at the cancer center. Also, for our families who drop everything to help us out when needed. Thank you all for the encouraging words, messages, cards, phone calls and most importantly PRAYER! I have been focusing this week on letting go of everything that is weighing heavy on my heart and giving it to God. Every thought, every worry, every distraction, everything that is completely beyond my control. The second it comes to my mind I say..."God it's yours." You should try it! It works!! Someone shared this verse with me this week and I felt like it went perfectly with my new mantra...I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Psalm 16:8








Wednesday, March 20, 2013

happy spring

I told you all you would be hearing more from me about sun care. I guess the first day of spring would be an appropriate time to tell you what I think. I don't think of myself as a very loud or outspoken person, but let me tell you since Braden's diagnosis my stance on sun protection has changed drastically. I am no saint when it comes to my relationship with the sun and tanning beds. I, unfortunatly, am very guilty. I once loved the tanning bed. I very recently loved getting just a "little sun" to give me that summertime glow. ICK!!! What was I thinking?!? There is no such thing as a "healthy glow".  I knew about melanoma. I have taken care of patients dying of melanoma. But it would never happen to me or my loved one. Right?

I wish I could describe the feeling I had in my stomach the day Braden called me from work to tell me he received a call from the dermatology office and the mole they removed on his back was melanoma. No big deal, just a little mole on his back and now it was gone...right? Nope, that wasn't the end. The mole was big enough they needed to consult a surgeon and biopsy some lymph nodes "just to make sure it hasn't spread." WHAT!?! I knew what this meant. I know what lymph nodes do. This isn't happening to me. No way. Not my life. Not my husband. We have a three year old. We want more children. We are happy. We are healthy. We have plans. We need to save for our retirement. He is only 32 years old. We don't have time to deal with this! So off to the surgeon we went. He informed us that because of the size of Braden's mole, there was only a 6% chance it could have spread to nearby lymph nodes. 6%!!!! The odds were in our favor. It wasn't going to happen to us...but it did.

So my husband gets to live the rest of his life with this yucky diagnosis, but thankfully we found the mole when we did. We feel blessed for that. Unfortunatly, Braden will never be considered "cured" from melanoma, because there is no cure. The statistics show Braden has a 70% chance of living the rest of his life with "no evidence of disease." Which means he can live a long and healthy life. So, yep...that means there is a 30% chance it could come back.  And where would it most likely come back you might ask? His organs. Enough said.

I don't tell you these things for sympathy. Braden has a long life ahead of him disease free...we have to believe this, and in no way will we let this disease control our lives. We will try to make a difference. If we can save just one person from this diagnosis it will be worth it. Already thanks to Braden, we know of many friends who have had their skin checked. Some even have had moles removed. Please let Braden's story be an example for you. Don't be the next diagnosis. I'm not asking you to change your life. It's pretty simple. Put on your sunscreen. Stay out of tanning beds. Protect your children. Get your skin checked. The risk isn't worth the reward. 


This video has a powerful message. I hope you will take a minute to watch.

 







Sunday, March 17, 2013

one day at a time

First week of treatment complete! Just wanted to give a little update. Braden had the PICC line placed Monday morning and we have spent our afternoons this past week hanging out at the cancer center getting his infusions. His first set of intense symptoms set in Tuesday evening with high fever, chills, body aches and pounding headaches. After a couple nights of that we have started learning how to ward it off before it happens, or his body is just getting more tolerant of the drug. Overall he just feels really tired and achy with no appetite. I know he is really tired of hearing me tell him he has to eat. Friday his white count dropped really low so we are staying tucked in at home this weekend trying to avoid as many germs as possible. Hopefully this weekend break will allow his body to recover a bit before he starts in again tomorrow.

Overall we are doing really well. Some days this whole process doesn't seem real and it is easy for me to focus on the future and what our life might be like a couple years from now. Other days it hits me like a freight train... On Monday it was when the Victory in the Valley volunteer gave my 32 year old husband who was sitting in the treatment room a teddy bear and welcomed him to the cancer center. I struggled to hold it back as I sat there and watched the nurse hook up his IV and thought about how this just wasn't suppose to be happening. The old man sitting next to us said, "I sure hate seeing you young kids in here." That was a moment I can't get out of my head. I have been taking care of cancer patients for awhile now, but never in a million years did I think it would be my husband looking so vulnerable and maybe a little afraid sitting in that chair. Never would I have imagined we would be facing a year of cancer treatment that would shake up our life and our plans. Never did I imagine our lives would be changed to this magnitude. I never thought I would be trying to explain to my little Brynn why Daddy doesn't feel good. (Isn't medicine suppose to make you feel better?) Never did I think that we would have to worry about scans and tests for years to come to make sure the melanoma hasn't returned. And every little ache or pain he has from now on will make us wonder and question. As I sat there trying to hold it together I tried to remind myself that this is only a small moment in our lives. My mom recently told me that "worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles; it takes away today's peace." We have chosen to walk by faith and live in the present. We know that God is far more powerful than this disease. Someone recently asked Braden how he was dealing with all of this and his response was pretty simple... "God." Later that evening we had a conversation about how lost we would be right now without our faith. And a special person sent me a message just today and said "Keep the faith my friend. Just a mustard seed will do!" I recently read that God empowers you to live beyond your own strength. God's strength is limitless. We are learning that every day. One day at a time.





Monday, March 11, 2013

go time!

Hey all...it's Braden here.  So, today was my first day of treatment. I have to admit, I was so ready for this day to finally be here, but to be honest, it was a little surreal sitting in the cancer center treatment room being the only one under the age of about 60.  The past couple of months of my life have been a complete whirlwind.  You just never think anything like this can happen to you...I just want to tell you all thank you so much for the prayers and well wishes. It truly means a lot. I don't know what the next year of my life is going to be like, but I feel so blessed to be surrounded by many great friends and family members. With God by my side, I am ready to kick melanoma's a$$.  I can say that, right God?  :)
 
 

In honor of March Madness I wanted to share an awesome quote from the great Jim Valvano.

"To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special."

-Jim Valvano, March 3, 1993

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

guys and guns

A few weeks back one of Braden's best friends, Travis Taylor, organized a day for the guys to get together, shoot some guns, and show their support for Braden as he was getting geared up for more surgery, scans, treatment, etc... Let me tell you this group of friends goes waaaaaay back and they all married/are marrying some really great girls whom I love dearly!! It was a really fun day for Braden and a great way to get his mind off things and spend some time with really awesome friends. Thanks Travis!



 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


 
 

 
 

TAKE THAT CANCER!
 

 
 
 
 
 
 


 


Friday, March 1, 2013

plans made

Short post today...We met with Dr. Reddy yesterday and after a long discussion we have finalized some treatment plans. Braden will start treatment March 11. Dr. Reddy wants to give his incisions a little more time to heal and this will give us a little time to try and get our lives and schedules a little more organized before he gets started. (Is that possible?!?)

Braden's treatment will last 52 weeks (one year). The first four weeks of treatment will be daily infusions at the cancer center Monday-Friday. They will place a PICC line in his arm for those four weeks. We will finish those on April 5th and then start injections at home three times a week for the remaining 48 weeks. Dr. Reddy mentioned that if he can't make it that long we will cut it back. Ummmm.....what?!? Yes, that means the side effects can be brutal. But I don't think the need to "cut back" treatment is going to be an issue for Braden. He is ready to fight this beast. Have a great weekend everyone!

"It's about focusing on the fight and not the fright." -Robin Roberts